How can you ever know if something is good enough for you? How are you supposed to make decisions when you barely know who you are?
I'm drunk again. Not surprising at all. I've been through almost anything you can imagine, I guess. But this time, I must face the situation I've always feared the most: making decisions. I'm tired of not knowing what should I do. I'm tired of taking risks. I'm tired of not taking risks... I'm tired of being tired. I can't stop thinking 'What if?'
What if all my choices were wrong?
What if all my wrong choices were supposed to teach me something?
What if I never learn?
I'm tired of unanswered questions. I just need someone beside me. I need someone who can understand me. But how can be possible when even I don't understand myself? I need someone who can see into my soul. I need someone to put my needs over theirs. As I did. No... I guess I need the right person. Wrong time...Wrong love... Right person.
I fucking gave it a try. I believed in you. I thought you might have been the one. You were just like me. Until I grew up. I gave you everything. I might have given you my only chance to be happy. What if...? What if I gave this second chance to the wrong person? What if you were just a lesson? Were you just another lesson until I was ready for the one I was made for? What if we weren't even supposed to be characters in the same story? What if we were just pages and we were supposed to be read by each other? But instead, we kept the whole book...
What the hell am I supposed to learn from this? And when will I?
Have another glass! Cheers!